It has been one full week since I've been here, and I already feel like a local. A local that doesn't know how to speak Spanish... Oh well, I finally booked my free week of Spanish lessons, so hopefully that will help me out. I won't have to pretend to say something back to people in my own Spanish, aka jibberish.. Anyways, what have I been up to, you may be wondering.
Well, I have just been walking around town, sitting in plazas, going into shops, buying 600 bracelets, and necklaces. When I come home, you may not know me anymore. This one week that I've been here I've turned into a hippy. I wear my lime green Gringo pants everyday that look like Aladdin pants, I wear a bandanna, and wear the 600 bracelets I talk about above. Oh, and I don't shower. Maybe it's a good thing I'm in a foreign country, so your noses are still connected to your faces. No, I only joke. I smell good, sometimes...
Food. Oh my goodness. Food. I have never felt so starved in my life. Breakfast consists of yogurt, bread, and weird cereals. Lunch consists of beans, rice, and bread. Dinner is mystery meat that has been sitting on the counter all day, with veggies, and bread. The worst so far has been puree broccoli... I didn't know I looked like a new born baby, or an 80 year old man with no teeth. Always say no to puree broccoli. I always have to go out after a meal to inhale something else. Or just buy a bag of animal crackers that is the size of a small baby, and eat that in one sitting. Or a burger with a wiener in it that comes to less than $1. Sketchy, but cheap.
Now let's move on to the workers who clean our house every day. Around 9am we have cleaners come into our room, make our beds, and fold the clothes on the ground. I feel so sorry for these people. Do you want to know why? Because they think it's normal to fold your dirty underwear. Dirty underwear that I wore for days travelling across the world. I hope she was wearing gloves... Poor unsuspecting Peruvian woman that probably died from the gouch oder. Oh lets not forget about the time I saw a cleaner spraying something in my room, which I thought was febreze, but oh no, it was my Axe that the cleaner stole out of my bag in the bathroom. I thought the male cleaner smelt like my pit-stick. Thief. I guess it's payback for the touching of my dirty undies.
Um. So. I went bungee jumping. Can you believe it? Because coming from the person who is deathly afraid of heights, I can't believe it. Let me tell you about it. Well, so they strapped me into a harness and feet straps, and shoved me into a small cage, like I was a rabid animal. I sure as hell felt like one the entire time the cage was being sucked up into the sky. When I finally got to the top, the man opened the gate, told me to step out on a 2mm wide platform, and counted down from 3. I gave him a death glare, and then he told me to take my time. While I was on this platform, the bungee cord was pulling me out of the cage. Pretty sure at that point I was prairie dogging. I then proceeded to look down to the ground. Bad idea, because then I actually did drop a douce in my pants. Anyways, he started to count down again, I took a deep breath in, and threw myself out of the cage to my death. I opened my eyes, couldn't breath, but when I finally did the first words out of my mouth were, "HOLLLY FUUUCK!!!". I think after that my stomach was thrown out of my mouth. Weirdest, but the best feeling I've ever experienced (not the projectile stomach, the free-falling.) The whip-lash got me good, I looked like a rag-doll apparently. So after I finished my 3 bounces, I was just dangling upside down. During this time it felt like my feet were slipping through the feet braces. I actually contemplated if I would live if I fell from that high. That was the worst part of bungee jumping. Sorry Mum, but I'm still alive, calm down. The next couple days after it felt like I worked out for 12 hours straight. But I'm so happy I actually went through with it!
Some little bits of info since being here. You can get absolutely anything at El Molino (the black market). I have my own separate water tank, meaning I get hot showers when everyone else in the house doesn't. Baha. I have a wicked sandal tan line. I drink gallons of tea a day. The toilet paper smells like baby wipes, and you're not allowed to flush it down the toilet. I sleep in a room where it's like -0 at all times. The house I live in is like The Real World. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing yet. I saw a bumble bee the size of my fist today. I shove all my clothes under my bed. I'm shaving my stache tomorrow...
Oh, I didn't end up going to Machu Picchu. I'm going to do a 4 day trek later in June through a different company, who are a lot cheaper. But I'm super excited for this week though, I'm going to the zoo tomorrow, as well as horse-back riding for 4 hours. Then this weekend I'm going to Lake Titicaca (or what I have renamed to Lake Tits-and-Cock.) Oh, sorry again mother dearest.
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Photo time? Yeeee bitch!
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