Mar 30, 2011

You Can Call Me Harry Potter

My dear friend Ashley, click the name to check out her blog, came over today and gave me my birthday gift! You don't know this fact about myself, not many people do, but I am in LOVE with the Harry Potter series. I remember on my 11th birthday I waited up till midnight to see if Hagrid would stop by and give me my Hogwarts acceptance letter, and a squished birthday cake from his oversized jacket. First of all, my birthday was ruined because the dirty bit didn't show, and secondly I was heart broken because I found out I'm just a douchy muggle... Wow, apparently I didn't know I suppressed these emotions.

Anyways, back to the point; my gift! Ashley went to the Harry Potter Exhibition in Seattle back in December, and told me she bought my birthday gift. Not only was I pissed at her because I couldn't come with, but I was also livid that she told me she bought me my birthday gift 6 million months before my birthday. I don't do well with waiting, can't you tell? So as I was opening my gift, I almost had a heart attack because I could smell the magic wafting from the bag. I pretty much ripped the bag in two because I couldn't wait any longer. To my surprise, it was a mug that showed the Marauder's Map when you put hot water in it!! There may or may not have been tears. Actually, that's what I filled the cup up with, my steaming hot tears. Creepy? No, just any other day in the life of Taylor. Thank you for the amazing birthday gift Ashley!


Yes, I will now post pictures of the mystical mug that I'm currently drinking my hot tears out of. P.S.- room mate, you're not allowed to use this mug, it's only for my muggle lips. Appreciated. If I catch you, you will most def get pink eye from dragon dung I smother your pillow with.

I hate Telus. I hate Telus. I hate Telus. Why is this such a big deal to get them to understand what I want? When I call you and need your help I would like to speak with someone who can actually speak proper English to me. Is this so much to ask for? I don't appreciate when you mumble all of your words when you ask me questions. Oh, and my name is not James Taylor, It's not Taylor Jamison. I just told you, very clearly may I add, that my first name is TAYLOR, and last name JAMES. I even spelt it out for you....twice.

Mar 29, 2011

The Big 21

Hello, friends. So it's my birthday today, and I'm 21. Twenty-freakin-one!! Why do I feel so old now? I don't like it. Get it out. I would like to be 18 again, please. Naw, I kid, 21 will most def be a good year for me, I can already sense it. So what did I do for my birthday you may be wondering. Well let me tell you; I went to Kelowna with my friend Scott and stayed at one of his friend's house for the weekend. It was far too much fun, and I miss it already! We went to BigWhite and snowboarded. It was my second time ever boarding, and my ass for sure realized quickly that I was a noob. But none-the-less I love it! I'm already planning on buying a season pass/all the necessities to live on the mountain.

We then came home and I drank a bottle and a half of wine. Did I need to do that? Of course I did! Who do you think I am? We ended up playing King's Cup, and boy, was that ever a treat. We found a new rule called the 'gimp card'. When one pulls that card, the person to the left of them is their gimp master. Good thing I was the person to the left, because Scott really needed to feel the wrath of Gimp Master Taylor. He ended up wearing a pink curly wig, and a bikini top. Did I forget to mention he was forced to eat 4 kibbles of dog food? Good times.

When we all finally awoke after the night's excursion, and it was such a beautiful day that we decided to go for a hike. After climbing a mountain in the desert we all had a nap that was well deserved. We then all pilled in the car and went to the sketchiest CastleFunPark wannabe joint and played mini-golf. If you know me, you would know that I absolutely hate mini-golf. Like a passionate, burning hatred for it. Actually, just all games in general. My luck with winning such games are 0% out of 100. I've come to accept this fact, so I usually just avoid them at all costs. When mini golf was done, we all ended up drinking....Yes, drinking again.

On Sunday I planned to go out with a few close friends from home, and eat dinner at Earls. I didn't plan on drinking, but then shots just started to appear. Tequila, an Irish Car Bomb, and some foreign shot that was delectable. Let me just say I was in a good state after ingesting them. After din a few of us ended back at Jessi's house and all cuddled in a bed. Some farts later, my clothes coming off (what's new?), and Jessi force feeding me water, then proceeding to make a human geyser of water spew from my mouth, all in all, it was such a fun night! I can easily say this has been the best birthday I've ever had!


OH, I almost forgot! My birthday present from my Mum was a brand new camera, a Nikon L120 to be exact! I love it to death, and took some pretty dandy photos this past weekend. I guess I should show you some of the photos to prove I didn't make up this great weekend.
P.S.- Yes, in the last few pictures, I sure am wearing a beater that says "Fuck Shit Up". I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Mar 15, 2011


Blog post that will be like a Facebook status.

"Taylor James is currently sitting on the floor in his living room, wishing to curl up into a ball and die."

I'm not going to talk about SUPER personal things in this blog. But I would just like to state the current count of negative happenings in my life are at a total of 5 in the past 48 hours. When will it stop? No one knows. I think Jesus is angry that I screwed up my lenting of not eating fast food. Yes, lenting. /SMOTED! Can't wait to wake up tomorrow to find some body part bleeding, or something of that nature. WISH ME LUCK!

Mar 8, 2011

Soft Kitty

I think I'm alright with being single for life, just as long as I have my cat. Is this a sad fact to type out/come to agreement with, I like to think it's not. Will Chairman Meow ever break up with me, no, she won't. Will she ever cheat on me? Yes she has, but we got over that, and moved on. ANYWAYS, I've had Chairbabe for a few years now, and she's my pride and joy...CrazyCatMan, sure, you can call me that.

How did Chaircat and I meet, you may ask? Well, let me start off with there are two stories to that. The story I told my mother was that I found her on the side of a busy road while walking home one day. A stray kitten that I couldn't just leave to die. Mum wasn't too impressed with it, but agreed that I could keep her just as long as I took care of her. Now let's review the second story; the true story, might I add. A friend's cat had kittens, and posted on Facebook that she was looking for homes for them. I offered to take one, and that was that. I feel like the true story of how I acquired Kittenface will be a family story that we'll always laugh about when we get together. Well...I'm hoping for his when I do finally tell my Mum how Softkitty came about.

Chairman Meow and I have been through plenty of stuff throughout the years. Such as having 600 different names; such as Eway, Velcro, Slut, Kitten, and Ruby Blue. Eventually she became Chairman Meow, and it's stuck ever since. Not only have we been through a handful of name changes, but we've also gone through 5 moves together. I think she will one day hate me from the amount of times she's been moved to different homes. Not yet, though. Oh, and lets not forget when she had babies, that stupid slut. There were three babies to be in fact, but one died. Unfortunate, but I had another two kittens to add to the platoon. CrazyCatMan at his best.

I love my cat to death, especially when I first walk into my house, and she screams at the top of her lungs for five minutes about how much she missed me. Yeah bitch, I was gone for awhile, calm down, I get it. Also, I love her when I go to bed, and how she expects that I lift the blankets for her to join in a cuddle session. One day I'm going to roll over in my sleep and smother her. Well that would suck. But getting a dutch oven would suck worse.

This is where I post some pictures of her. Let me warn you, you're going to fall in love with her. Don't worry, it's natural to feel that way.

Mar 1, 2011

Just A Quicky Update

Why hello there. I've been MIA for the past bit due to the fact I've been stealing wifi from my neighbours, and it's a really finiky task to do such. When ever I'm ready to blog, of course it won't connect. I live such a hard life, I know. But today I finally called Telus and am in the process of getting my own connection set up. So be happy for me and shit.

Well, what's been happening in my life as of late? I just had two midterms yesterday, and I'm free of school related tasking for a bit, which is a treat and a half. I've just been working and keeping myself busy with friends. Which is the other half of the treat I talk about up above. I always just want to fast forward to the weekend, because I know there will be good times for all.

On a totally unrelated topic, I just met the RiverDancer I've talked about in other posts that lives above me. I pictured he would be obese and socially inept, since he's always river dancing at all hours of the day/night. But quite the contrary, he seems normal enough, and RoomMate knows the person he's living with now. So maybe we'll invite them down to river dance? No, that's just too weird, even for me.

Anyways, where am I going with this post? I don't even know. Let's keep in random. Okay. So just last week, I was having a smoke (whoops, screw quitting for now) on my patio, and there was a man dumpster diving. He then proceed to walk back and forth, like something was wrong. So me being me, I asked him if he was alright. So he walks on over, and then tells me for the next half hour about tips and tricks if I ever become homeless. Like good times to go dumpster diving, how to make homeless candles, and how socks are hard to come by. Thanks, but I don't plan on being homeless ever. Wait, knowing my luck, just in saying that I will one day have no home. Great. Awesome. My name won't be Tjames On Fire anymore, it'll be Tjames in dumpsters.

I guess to end this post, I should ramble off some piss-offs from work.

1) Do NOT ever ask for a scone, emphasize on the 'on'. There is an 'e' at the end of the word, speak proper English, or else I'll accidentely drop the scone and stomp it right in front of you.

2) Don't ever ask for a 'ladday'. At Starbucks, we usually like to call them lattes. I am not your laddy.

3) Kids that play with their bouncy ball in front of my store, if you do this one more time, you will soon be helping each other remove such ball from bum.

4) Kids that scream nipples at the top of their lungs in my store, please refrain. Or else I will give you a raunchy purple nurple and kindly ask you to remove yourself.

5) People who think it's alright to take from our tip jar, just so you can have enough money, don't. I need tips so I can wash my clothes. If you do such again, I will not put deodorant on and steep your tea-bag under my sweaty arm-pit.

This, my friends, is vital information you'll need to keep your barista happy.


Here's some goodies from Facebook

Here's a couple of my fav friends
This is my twin little brother