oh-HA

BLOG? WHAT'S A BLOG?! No, really.. I've missed you. Much has changed. Most of which I should not post to the internet. I really, REALLY should not post some of the things. Since April, my last post, I've been having the time of my life. Summer 2012? Oh dear god, Summer 2012.. I think I've one up'ed myself in the 'greatest summer of all time' category! I can't go into detail. No, I shouldn't. Future employers might see this. Bad tjamesonfire, BAD!

ALRIGHT, enough of me talking about not talking about stuff. Current juicies in my life. I'm currently a university drop out. ( just for the semester ) Long story short, UFV and StudentAidBC have royally punched me in the breasts. Like, my tits are lopsided it was that bad. BUT, there's a big but, I'm moving to Kamloops, B.C. in January and continuing my social work goals at Thompson Rivers University! Which means living on my own again.. Say hello to eating only salted crackers with honey mustard, and a dab of sriracha hot sauce. Oh my model-esk figure is just SCREAMING in delight! I'll also be transferring to a different Starbucks location. Which makes this the... 6th store in.. 3 years? oh-HA! Pass me around Howard, SEE IF I CARE!

In all honesty, it's time to grow up. Me moving to Kamloops where I know next to no one will be a good thing. It means less partying, I say that loosely, and more focusing on school, I say that hoping. IT'S TIME TO GROW UP, YET STILL BE FOREVER YOUNG!

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PS- Happy early Halloween! Say hello to little lion man.

Still Alive?

HA-HA! Hola, mis amigos! M.I.A. Tjames is back. Back blogging off my Blackberry... Awkward, right? I hate it, but it's all I have right meow. Well -- update time. I guess I felt the need to blog because I have lost the ability to sleep; mainly to due to the fact I have a final tomorrow that I'm totally not prepared for... What else is new?!? Anyways, I've transferred stores once again.. I'm now currently in a cafe Starbucks that gets two customers per day.. (Lie) But it sure feels like it! This transfer happened because I stepped down from being a supervisor to just a lowly barista. WHOOP!

Summer is just around the corner and in a few days from now last year I was boarding a flight to Peru.. Shoot me now, because I'd rather not think about how I'm not travelling again this summer. Honestly, SHOOT ME!! I'm done with living in StabbyAbby.. (I feel gross just thinking about where I live currently..) Oh well, camping Canadian style will just have to suffice.. I guess...

Summer Look-Forward To List:
1) Being done school tomorrow
2) Having a celebratory beer after exam tomorrow
3) Messy May Long -- don't care where, just need beer
4) 3 weddings
5) 10 day vaca in June-July, don't care where, just need a beer bong
6) TULAMEEN DAYS!!!!!!!!
7) Being tanned, beaters, shorts, flip flops. (Scooting attire)

Fuck, how I love summer!

Other then whatever the hell I said above (rants and raves) I've been stupidly happy! I'm content with where I am, even though I'm not traveling. I just need to remember to go with the flow. RELEASE THE INNER HIPPY!! I'll be sure to update you twats sometime in May (don't you dare quote me, we all know my posting tendencies as of late)

PS, this post took 16 hours to type out on my phone. Hate.. So much hate!
BUT I LOVE YOU!!!!

The Updated Life of Tjames

Oh hello there. It's your friendly neighbourhood baristud!! Just thought I would stop by and give you bitch tits a little update. I miss coming to this blog, it reminds me far too much of Peru and how whenever I would be blogging it would be about how my balls were fondled, or about my disease collection. Such good memories... I neglect it far too much because I don't have stories like these anymore. Canada is boring I guess.

Well. Life is for sure different. Or should I say it will be different shortly. I'm still working at Starbucks, (lifer), and have been since August. 40 hours a week. I feel like a real adult. Except for the fact that when my shift is done I reek like I took a coffee shower, and have foam all over my body.. What? That's not what real adults look like after a shift at work? Awkward. Anyways, 40 hours a week. Yes. With time to play on the weekends, of course. Sometimes on week days. Whoops. ANYWAYS. Life will def be different shortly. I'm going back to school in January, taking 4 100 level classes because my university sucks and gives me shitty registration dates... Thanks UFV. So welcome me back to the student life of procrastination. Oh, and I'm also moving back home in February with my fam jam. Which will be weird since I've been on my own for the past year. It'll be good though. Three words: home cooked meals... TALK DIRTY!

So with these life changes I'll be working less, most likely partying more, and writing papers into the wee hours of the morning. Can't wait for the last one... But the one thing that I'm absolutely looking forward to is visiting my friend Rachel that I met in Peru!! This will be happening in Feb. and it can't come soon enough. I need a mini vaca. I need to get out of Abby. To visit the states. It'll be a nice refreshing trip with my bestie with testies to visit my Peruvian sister in SanFran. Shit will def get weird, and I can't wait! Can you say HYPHY?

On another totally unrelated topic, it's almost the new year. Where did this year go?! How did it slip by so fast? This is by far the best year that I lived through in my short 21 years of life. So many positive things have happened in my life. Such as finding some of the most amazing friends that I could have ever asked for. I can honestly say that every person in my life this year has changed it for the better. The ones in Canada, and especially the ones I met travelling in Peru. Love my besties!

PERU! I can't even leave this out of this post. It has, to this date, been the best 3 months of my life. I learned so much while living there, from being on my own in a foreign country, meeting over one hundred people from all over the world, and just diving into the culture. It taught me the best life lesson, to just go with the flow and live carefree. It brought out my inner hippy, and I love it. I miss it every day and all of the wonderful people I met there. I also greatly miss not showering for a week at a time... I smite you hygiene!!

What else can I rant about? Are you even reading anymore? Shut up, this is tjames' blog, of course you still are. WELL, I don't even know. I'm sad that this year will officially be over in a couple of weeks. But this means that I get to try and make this coming year even better than the last. I don't know how I'll top this, but I'll try my hardest, all the while updating you creeps!

Have a great Christmas + New Years, and have a drink for me... or 600..!!

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Listen to my finger. Take a break, breath, enjoy life, tell a friend you appreciate them, and then have a beer bong!!

5 (8) Awesome Baristas!

Hello, my dear readers. I've come back to you. From a far away land called work -- yes, I'm always working. Quite possibly with a little play as well. Soooo, I've come here to update you people on a little treat that I've been doing with my spare time. Recently my room mate and I, Merry, auditioned to get on a YouTube channel. This channel is totally related to Starbucks in all ways, hence the name "5 Awesome Baristas".

Let me give you the jist of it. Every Friday Mlou and I will be uploading a new video on a Starbucks related topic. We're usually good while filming in the beginning. We keep on topic for a little while. But then it turns into something else. There may be footage of us dancing. Maybe even a little pouring a pound of coffee beans over my head. I heard about Merry wearing a blanket as a turban as well? Weird, and yet so good.

I figured since that I'm an irregular poster on this blog that I should probably update you kittens on what's happening in my life. This is just one of the hobbies that I've obtained, so let me go ahead and show you what I'm speaking of!

The first video is our audition to actually get on the channel.

This one is our first video after we made it to the channel. Just an introduction.

This little guy is about Starbucks Shared Planet, and being recycle-wise.

So like I said above, there will be new videos every Friday. So subscribe to our YouTube channel and enjoy our shenanigans weekly!

http://www.youtube.com/user/fiveawesomebaristas

Canada Living

This is the longest amount of time that I haven't blogged for since I started this page up. I find that kind of weird. But it's due to the fact that I feel like there's nothing really to talk about. When travelling in Peru there were so many events that happened to me that I could bitch about, but being back at home not so much. I've been hit with the reality of life since being home, aka having a real job, paying bills (or should I say Peruvian debt), and showering. I hate showering. But really, it was a hard experience trying to get back into the grind of North American society, and it still feels like I'm struggling with that at times. Why aren't there parades in my city every other day? Where are the obese Peruvian women trying to sell me things? Where are the dogs that I have to run away from in fear from getting rabies? Why haven't I been sick in the past month? Where's Gaby to make my meals? Why don't I live in a house with 20 other people anymore?? So many questions. Oh how I miss you Peru!

So, readers that may be wondering what I've been up to since being home from South America, what has tjames been getting up to? I work 40 hours a week making bevies at Starbucks. I got a hair cut because my flow got too greasy from not showering. (I'm joking). I still drive my little red scoot, although she's screaming in pain every time I start her up. I'm back living in the ghetto. I ate 600 oreos today to remind myself of my diet in Peru. Chairman Meow is fat and still screams at me. I've been relatively healthy since being home, no sicknesses! I guess Canada doesn't want me dead. I went camping twice with a group of amazing friends, let me tell you, shit got weird most of the time with them haha. All in all, I've just been trying to get back to my groove of Canadian living.

I still think about the things I did and people I met during my travels a lot, and I miss them with all my greasy, lime green gringo pants wearing heart. I hope that my future travels will bring me back together with them at some point!

Cuando en el Peru!!

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On a side note, I have no idea where this blog is going to go now. I think I'll just switch it back to a couple of monthly vents for your viewing pleasure. So stay tuned.

I Swear All My Blog Titles Have The Word Procrastination In Them

Hola, guess what time it is! It's procrastinate from anything related to school time, of course! I've already gone out for far too many smoke breaks than necessary, cooked a meal even though I wasn't hungry, and am writing a blog when in reality I should be studying for a final I have in 4 and a half hours. But hey, C's get degrees, right!? Well...I'm hoping they do.

Topic change. Tomorrow is my last shift at Starbucks. Well, I should say last shift at that certain location. I don't know I feel yet. Wait, YES I DO! I feel freakin' stoked about it. I don't have to deal with old people telling me our prices are outrageous, and that A&W coffee is better anyways. I don't have to deal with people coming in and reading the menu for five minutes, then proceeding to ask me for a "calorie frap". Really? I didn't know that we had a syrup called calorie. I'm sure it tastes great though! I won't have to deal with kids walking in, acting like they own the store, and ask for a drink like this, "Yo, give meh a double chocolaty chip frap, man." (all the while throwing your hands around like you're Eminem's love child.) I will be able to regain my sanity, and this is what I'm most excited for. SWEET FREEDOM!

But alas, I should get back to my Political Sciences. I wish I could pop my eyes out, prop my book up, and go have a nap while my eyeballs continue to study. Vulgar? I don't curr.

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Before I leave, and my brain melts here are some goodies.

Maybe I should explain the picture of my mouth that makes it's debut in these photos. It was a Fiesta themed party, and the people throwing it thought it would be a good idea to play a game called, "Pin the dirty sanchez on Justin Beiber". I guess some people are jealous of my facial hair...

Just A Quicky Update

Why hello there. I've been MIA for the past bit due to the fact I've been stealing wifi from my neighbours, and it's a really finiky task to do such. When ever I'm ready to blog, of course it won't connect. I live such a hard life, I know. But today I finally called Telus and am in the process of getting my own connection set up. So be happy for me and shit.

Well, what's been happening in my life as of late? I just had two midterms yesterday, and I'm free of school related tasking for a bit, which is a treat and a half. I've just been working and keeping myself busy with friends. Which is the other half of the treat I talk about up above. I always just want to fast forward to the weekend, because I know there will be good times for all.

On a totally unrelated topic, I just met the RiverDancer I've talked about in other posts that lives above me. I pictured he would be obese and socially inept, since he's always river dancing at all hours of the day/night. But quite the contrary, he seems normal enough, and RoomMate knows the person he's living with now. So maybe we'll invite them down to river dance? No, that's just too weird, even for me.

Anyways, where am I going with this post? I don't even know. Let's keep in random. Okay. So just last week, I was having a smoke (whoops, screw quitting for now) on my patio, and there was a man dumpster diving. He then proceed to walk back and forth, like something was wrong. So me being me, I asked him if he was alright. So he walks on over, and then tells me for the next half hour about tips and tricks if I ever become homeless. Like good times to go dumpster diving, how to make homeless candles, and how socks are hard to come by. Thanks, but I don't plan on being homeless ever. Wait, knowing my luck, just in saying that I will one day have no home. Great. Awesome. My name won't be Tjames On Fire anymore, it'll be Tjames in dumpsters.

I guess to end this post, I should ramble off some piss-offs from work.

1) Do NOT ever ask for a scone, emphasize on the 'on'. There is an 'e' at the end of the word, speak proper English, or else I'll accidentely drop the scone and stomp it right in front of you.

2) Don't ever ask for a 'ladday'. At Starbucks, we usually like to call them lattes. I am not your laddy.

3) Kids that play with their bouncy ball in front of my store, if you do this one more time, you will soon be helping each other remove such ball from bum.

4) Kids that scream nipples at the top of their lungs in my store, please refrain. Or else I will give you a raunchy purple nurple and kindly ask you to remove yourself.

5) People who think it's alright to take from our tip jar, just so you can have enough money, don't. I need tips so I can wash my clothes. If you do such again, I will not put deodorant on and steep your tea-bag under my sweaty arm-pit.

This, my friends, is vital information you'll need to keep your barista happy.

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Here's some goodies from Facebook

Here's a couple of my fav friends

This is my twin little brother

AND THIS IS THE CREEPY PICTURE ROOMMATE BOUGHT FOR OUR HOUSE!

Starbucks

Work. Starbucks. Pretentious folk. I feel like I need a vent. A good hearty vent. Let me just start this off with the fact that I have gauged ears, double zero to be exact. Not only do the Mennonites in town judge me because I have them, but some customers have been visibly repulsed by them. Since working at Starbucks I swear I have at least one person a day who asks, "Did that hurt to do that to your ears?" My reply, "I hate you, don't talk to me." Of course it did. Just imagine shoving a tapered piece of plastic through you ear to stretch the skin, then proceeding to hold it there until it heals. Please don't ask me about them if you are already on the verge of projectile vomiting over the counter. Topic one complete.

Topic two. $3.42. When you come into my store yelling $3.42 at me, expecting me to understand what the fuck you're saying/want, you most definitely deserve a slap to the throat. You're lucky that I have worked for the company for some time now, and have remembered the prices to most drinks, and that a tall latte is $3.42. Oh, also asking me when I'm making your drink, "Do you know what you're doing?", every single time you come in, does not only make me want to give you a decaf shot, a lougey, and a smack across the mouth, it makes me hate you. I tell you every single time that you come in I'm a supervisor, have worked at Starbucks for almost two years, and that I would hope by now I know how to make a tall latte because of those reasons. You, sir, do not make me a happy barista.

Thirdly, do not tell me you want a regular coffee. Nowhere on our menu boards does it say the size 'regular'. When I ask you what size you would like, do not tell me a regular AGAIN and start to get angry at me. I do not know what a regular is to you. Do I know you? No, I don't. So please stop saying regular repeatedly to my face, thanks.

#4. Security Boy Stalker. I don't know how you do it, but you always seem to find a way to lurk up behind me in the mall, where ever I may be, and strike up awkward conversations. I have no interest talking about feminism, and gypsies with you. Also, Security Boy Stalker, I know you have no reason to hang out at the garbage cans outside of our store, and act non challant. Please stand else where and protect the mall public from teenagers.

Fifthly- Please brush your teeth, your breath smells like a Komodo Dragon.

Don't get me wrong, I do have a lot of things to vent about with my job, doesn't everybody? But I also love and value working at Starbucks. I love the regular customers who come in every day, but it seems with every amazing regular there is 5 horrible customers. We need to fix this problem. Some of these vent topics could be possible solutions. Aka a smack the the throat.

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Latest Facebook picture. (Merry Lou made a disgusting drink, I don't remember all what was in it. Except for the java chips at the bottom of the cup I discovered as pouring the bev out.) This is me enjoying it thoroughly, as you can see.

Coffee is my Saviour

I feel like a zombie right now. So I decided to take a break from studying and have a little photo shoot with my coffee (Christmas blend from Starbucks). Since I have a midterm tomorrow, I will be up all night, possibly dying from heart palpitations due to the copious amounts of caffeine I have ingested. All in the name of university. 50 more pages of reading to go! Canadian democracy will be the end of me. Also the obese person that lives above me who needs to learn that it's not appropriate to river dance at midnight. That too, will be the end of me. Ican'tdropout,Ihateriverdance,Iwanttosleep. /Rant completed.

Back From The Dead

Why hello there. So life has definitely been a little bit crazy as of late. So here's a list of everything new going on in my life.

1) I got promoted in late August to a supervisor
2) I transfered to a new Starbucks, which so happens to be a new location
3) I bought a car for a great deal
4) My ex-room mates kicked me out due to their female parts raging with hormones that I will never understand.
5) I'm officially going to Peru in May 2011 for three months!
6) And latest news, my lappy died. So I decided to splurge and buy a Macbook Pro =)
7) Second year of uni....it will be the death of me.

So now that you're caught up, I feel better.

Idea, every post I have I'm going to upload the most recently tagged photo of myself. Just to keep it fun.
So, here it goes.




And while I'm at it, here's a few more ;)

hello, interwebz

Oh hi there, it's your lucky day if your shaky hands have stumbled upon this blog. Let me introduce myself, my name is Taylor James and I ripped myself out of the womb 20 years ago. I drive a seductive red scooter and have severe road rage. My home away from home would be located at a drive-thru Starbucks,where I make hand-crafted beverages for pretentious city folk. One last tid-bit of information I know you're all craving is where I reside.. Oh lordy, let me tell you! Well, it's the bible belt of Canada, Abbotsford, British Columbia, of course!

So I defiantly feel like we have just bonded, don't you? I'm super glad we're finally acquainted with each other and I hope you'll be excited to live vicariously through me in this diary I call a blog.


My life is to be continued...