Oct 30, 2012


BLOG? WHAT'S A BLOG?! No, really.. I've missed you. Much has changed. Most of which I should not post to the internet. I really, REALLY should not post some of the things. Since April, my last post, I've been having the time of my life. Summer 2012? Oh dear god, Summer 2012.. I think I've one up'ed myself in the 'greatest summer of all time' category! I can't go into detail. No, I shouldn't. Future employers might see this. Bad tjamesonfire, BAD!

ALRIGHT, enough of me talking about not talking about stuff. Current juicies in my life. I'm currently a university drop out. ( just for the semester ) Long story short, UFV and StudentAidBC have royally punched me in the breasts. Like, my tits are lopsided it was that bad. BUT, there's a big but, I'm moving to Kamloops, B.C. in January and continuing my social work goals at Thompson Rivers University! Which means living on my own again.. Say hello to eating only salted crackers with honey mustard, and a dab of sriracha hot sauce. Oh my model-esk figure is just SCREAMING in delight! I'll also be transferring to a different Starbucks location. Which makes this the... 6th store in.. 3 years? oh-HA! Pass me around Howard, SEE IF I CARE!

In all honesty, it's time to grow up. Me moving to Kamloops where I know next to no one will be a good thing. It means less partying, I say that loosely, and more focusing on school, I say that hoping. IT'S TIME TO GROW UP, YET STILL BE FOREVER YOUNG!

PS- Happy early Halloween! Say hello to little lion man.

Apr 25, 2012

Still Alive?

HA-HA! Hola, mis amigos! M.I.A. Tjames is back. Back blogging off my Blackberry... Awkward, right? I hate it, but it's all I have right meow. Well -- update time. I guess I felt the need to blog because I have lost the ability to sleep; mainly to due to the fact I have a final tomorrow that I'm totally not prepared for... What else is new?!? Anyways, I've transferred stores once again.. I'm now currently in a cafe Starbucks that gets two customers per day.. (Lie) But it sure feels like it! This transfer happened because I stepped down from being a supervisor to just a lowly barista. WHOOP!

Summer is just around the corner and in a few days from now last year I was boarding a flight to Peru.. Shoot me now, because I'd rather not think about how I'm not travelling again this summer. Honestly, SHOOT ME!! I'm done with living in StabbyAbby.. (I feel gross just thinking about where I live currently..) Oh well, camping Canadian style will just have to suffice.. I guess...

Summer Look-Forward To List:
1) Being done school tomorrow
2) Having a celebratory beer after exam tomorrow
3) Messy May Long -- don't care where, just need beer
4) 3 weddings
5) 10 day vaca in June-July, don't care where, just need a beer bong
6) TULAMEEN DAYS!!!!!!!!
7) Being tanned, beaters, shorts, flip flops. (Scooting attire)

Fuck, how I love summer!

Other then whatever the hell I said above (rants and raves) I've been stupidly happy! I'm content with where I am, even though I'm not traveling. I just need to remember to go with the flow. RELEASE THE INNER HIPPY!! I'll be sure to update you twats sometime in May (don't you dare quote me, we all know my posting tendencies as of late)

PS, this post took 16 hours to type out on my phone. Hate.. So much hate!

Jan 28, 2012

One Year Coming To An End

Why hello there bloggities! It's your friendly neighbourhood baristud, tjames! How have you been? I've been busy, thanks for asking. I'm here to give you a nice little update about the good 'ole life of me. What have I been up to you ask? Well let me inform you. I'm back in school taking 3 classes. All 100 level classes, all 100 level bullsquat. It's going into the 4th week and I've already procrastinated everything school related. What's new? C's get degrees, so shut up. I've also figured out my life for the next 3 years. After those 3 years I'll hopefully have my social work degree, and I'll hopefully have a job in the field shortly after. I kind of can't wait. I hate waiting. I want to be a real adult already. Wait... Maybe I don't. Being old sucks. Let me be 21 forever, thanks.

Anyways. What this blog post is really about is me moving. I'll be moving back home in two days. Living with my parents. Eating real food. Washing my clothes. Being warm. All of these things have been a rare commodity for me this past year. Common, who really needs to wash their clothes? Lets be honest. Yes, moving back home. Here's a list of things I'll miss and not miss.

Shit on the miss-list:
I'll miss having my own house. Blasting my music at all hours of the day. Scream singing in the shower at the top of my lungs (sorry merrylou). Finding treats in the front hallway, may it be books, dinosaur toys, machine guns, and singing birds that sound like they're possessed. Waking up in the morning and having coffee with the room mate, discussing life. Screaming at and chasing the same room mate around the house. Waking up my roomie to vicious poops, and laughing about it for an hour straight. Talking to my flat mate through our bedroom walls. Drinking Palm Bays in the shower. Having the tackiest decorations in our house -- asian slave picture, babies as flowers picture, sexy Christmas apartment, etc. Heart to hearts in the stairwell. I'll miss how Mlou and I won't be common law anymore. HEARTBROKEN!!

Shit on the not-so-much-miss-list
Dying puppy above me with man yelling "no" every 5 minutes. Screaming baby from below. Drunk slut next door having angry sex and screaming at her child. Seeing a dead body on the front lawn. How our fridge died and sounded like a dog barking throughout the night. When I got locked out on the patio in the rain (don't ask me how that happened). Having to wake the room mate up one night because I had one too many wobbly pops, and couldn't unlock the door myself. I will NOT miss coming home to someone who thought it would be a good idea to smear poop along the hallway walls. How almost everybody living in this apartment building is sketchy. I can't wait to get out of the ghetto. How I never, and I mean ever had food in the house. How both Merry Lou and I didn't buy TP for 3 weeks. We went from using Dairy Queen napkins to wet naps.... I just shuddered.

I know there is so much I missed, but it's been a year and my memory isn't the same as it used to be. BUUUT, this is going to be the weirdest move I've had. I worked with Merry Lou since 2007, moved in with her in 2011. Went to Peru, came back and didn't work with her anymore. Now I won't be living with her. No work, no live. I'm a sad panda. At least I'll still get to berate her once a week while filming our barista videos.

OH, side note. I regretfully have to relocate Chairman Meow to a new home. It's been a long run with her, but the parents don't want her in their house. I'll miss giving her bum slaps and cuddles. Not at the same time, though. That's just creepy. She's going to be a farm cat, so she'll be able to run free, lose some weight, and catch mice and shred them apart like she used to the last time she was an outdoor cat. Cute.

Anyways, I'll catch you on the flip side!! But I'll leave you with this treat.

PS- I ball so hard muthaeffas wanna find me.

Dec 18, 2011

The Updated Life of Tjames

Oh hello there. It's your friendly neighbourhood baristud!! Just thought I would stop by and give you bitch tits a little update. I miss coming to this blog, it reminds me far too much of Peru and how whenever I would be blogging it would be about how my balls were fondled, or about my disease collection. Such good memories... I neglect it far too much because I don't have stories like these anymore. Canada is boring I guess.

Well. Life is for sure different. Or should I say it will be different shortly. I'm still working at Starbucks, (lifer), and have been since August. 40 hours a week. I feel like a real adult. Except for the fact that when my shift is done I reek like I took a coffee shower, and have foam all over my body.. What? That's not what real adults look like after a shift at work? Awkward. Anyways, 40 hours a week. Yes. With time to play on the weekends, of course. Sometimes on week days. Whoops. ANYWAYS. Life will def be different shortly. I'm going back to school in January, taking 4 100 level classes because my university sucks and gives me shitty registration dates... Thanks UFV. So welcome me back to the student life of procrastination. Oh, and I'm also moving back home in February with my fam jam. Which will be weird since I've been on my own for the past year. It'll be good though. Three words: home cooked meals... TALK DIRTY!

So with these life changes I'll be working less, most likely partying more, and writing papers into the wee hours of the morning. Can't wait for the last one... But the one thing that I'm absolutely looking forward to is visiting my friend Rachel that I met in Peru!! This will be happening in Feb. and it can't come soon enough. I need a mini vaca. I need to get out of Abby. To visit the states. It'll be a nice refreshing trip with my bestie with testies to visit my Peruvian sister in SanFran. Shit will def get weird, and I can't wait! Can you say HYPHY?

On another totally unrelated topic, it's almost the new year. Where did this year go?! How did it slip by so fast? This is by far the best year that I lived through in my short 21 years of life. So many positive things have happened in my life. Such as finding some of the most amazing friends that I could have ever asked for. I can honestly say that every person in my life this year has changed it for the better. The ones in Canada, and especially the ones I met travelling in Peru. Love my besties!

PERU! I can't even leave this out of this post. It has, to this date, been the best 3 months of my life. I learned so much while living there, from being on my own in a foreign country, meeting over one hundred people from all over the world, and just diving into the culture. It taught me the best life lesson, to just go with the flow and live carefree. It brought out my inner hippy, and I love it. I miss it every day and all of the wonderful people I met there. I also greatly miss not showering for a week at a time... I smite you hygiene!!

What else can I rant about? Are you even reading anymore? Shut up, this is tjames' blog, of course you still are. WELL, I don't even know. I'm sad that this year will officially be over in a couple of weeks. But this means that I get to try and make this coming year even better than the last. I don't know how I'll top this, but I'll try my hardest, all the while updating you creeps!

Have a great Christmas + New Years, and have a drink for me... or 600..!!


Listen to my finger. Take a break, breath, enjoy life, tell a friend you appreciate them, and then have a beer bong!!

Nov 21, 2011

Scooter Fail

Holla, holla, holla! So, I don't know how to jump into this post subtly, except to say I crashed my scooter.... Yes, you did read correctly; I was viciously thrown off of the Red Rocket at 100 km/hr, thrown into the windshield of a car, ricocheted into a ditch, and I can still say that I survived ! Okay, that was a lie, but wouldn't that make me so much cooler in life if it were true? No, in all honestly I decided last Thursday that it would be a beautiful idea to drive scooty while it was snowing, when CLEARLY I knew this was not alright. I was driving along a side road (the main roads were still fine), lost traction, fish-tailed and slid with scoot on its side. Do you want to know what the shitty part of this story? Well it's all shitty, but the shittier end? Three separate cars saw me fall down, and all three cars didn't even stop. RUDE AND UNCALLED FOR!!

So after the nearly lethal fall, I picked the bitch-tit up, dragged it to the side of the road, and decided it was a great time to have a smoke break. I think I muttered (screamed) a list of profanities during this relaxing break of mine. So the next part of this story includes me walking on the side of a road, in the snow, pushing a scooter, wearing a helmut, and having cars fly by me spewing dirty slush all over my body. But I don't like remembering that part.

I didn't live far from where I crashed, so walking it home wasn't that bad of an idea, until my travels took me to a hill. A hill where every time I tried to push scoot up I slid down. I threw my helmut off, took another little break, and decided to ditch her in an abandoned parking lot, residing in the humble parking lot of "Fas Gas". This was Thursday night... It's now Monday night and she's still resting in that same stall.

Long story long, I went back the next day to pick her up and every time I gave her gas, she sputtered out. Just like how my love has sputtered out when she decided to almost kill me. I'm heartbroken. And forced to travel on foot. I hate the snow.

Nov 5, 2011

Death Cab

Oh hi there. Aren't you going to welcome me back? No? I hate you. I'm here, get over it. Anyways, a couple of weeks ago a few friends and I ventured out to Vancouver to go see Death Cab For Cutie in concert. This has always been my life long dream since Seth from the O.C. basically made them famous. I love their music to death and was so excited to see them FINALLY in concert!

The tickets my friend ended up buying were on the floor (my first time) so that made me even more excited. We got there and ended up being right up against the fence. SO CLOSE TO THEM THAT I COULD SEE THE SWEAT BEADING ON THEIR FACES! Not really, but now you get the idea. But these floor tickets brought out a weird crowd.

For example:
1) Crazy drugged up girl beside me that looked like she was having a seizure when shaking her head.
2) Crazy drunk girl who screamed at me that we all suck because we weren't as sloppy as her.
3) The same crazy drunk girl who started to grind up on me... At a Death Cab concert.
4) That SAME drunk girl who forced me to high five her.

I was so nervous. But the concert made up for all of the crazies! The only thing that I would change about the concert is for them to have played "A Lack Of Colour". But other than that, all my hopes and dreams are now fulfilled!

P.S.-- I'm super nervous as to how you can check to see how people got linked to my blog. Because I checked them today and it said that I had one person search for "Tjames nudes".... WHY IS SOMEONE TRYING TO LOOK FOR MY NUDES? I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD ANY!!!

I took some videos and pictures (NOT OF ME NAKED, CALM YOURSELVES) but since we were right at the front there was a bass speaker ruining everything. This is what I ended up getting.

Oct 11, 2011

5 (8) Awesome Baristas!

Hello, my dear readers. I've come back to you. From a far away land called work -- yes, I'm always working. Quite possibly with a little play as well. Soooo, I've come here to update you people on a little treat that I've been doing with my spare time. Recently my room mate and I, Merry, auditioned to get on a YouTube channel. This channel is totally related to Starbucks in all ways, hence the name "5 Awesome Baristas".

Let me give you the jist of it. Every Friday Mlou and I will be uploading a new video on a Starbucks related topic. We're usually good while filming in the beginning. We keep on topic for a little while. But then it turns into something else. There may be footage of us dancing. Maybe even a little pouring a pound of coffee beans over my head. I heard about Merry wearing a blanket as a turban as well? Weird, and yet so good.

I figured since that I'm an irregular poster on this blog that I should probably update you kittens on what's happening in my life. This is just one of the hobbies that I've obtained, so let me go ahead and show you what I'm speaking of!

The first video is our audition to actually get on the channel.

This one is our first video after we made it to the channel. Just an introduction.

This little guy is about Starbucks Shared Planet, and being recycle-wise.

So like I said above, there will be new videos every Friday. So subscribe to our YouTube channel and enjoy our shenanigans weekly!