One Year Coming To An End

Why hello there bloggities! It's your friendly neighbourhood baristud, tjames! How have you been? I've been busy, thanks for asking. I'm here to give you a nice little update about the good 'ole life of me. What have I been up to you ask? Well let me inform you. I'm back in school taking 3 classes. All 100 level classes, all 100 level bullsquat. It's going into the 4th week and I've already procrastinated everything school related. What's new? C's get degrees, so shut up. I've also figured out my life for the next 3 years. After those 3 years I'll hopefully have my social work degree, and I'll hopefully have a job in the field shortly after. I kind of can't wait. I hate waiting. I want to be a real adult already. Wait... Maybe I don't. Being old sucks. Let me be 21 forever, thanks.

Anyways. What this blog post is really about is me moving. I'll be moving back home in two days. Living with my parents. Eating real food. Washing my clothes. Being warm. All of these things have been a rare commodity for me this past year. Common, who really needs to wash their clothes? Lets be honest. Yes, moving back home. Here's a list of things I'll miss and not miss.

Shit on the miss-list:

I'll miss having my own house. Blasting my music at all hours of the day. Scream singing in the shower at the top of my lungs (sorry merrylou). Finding treats in the front hallway, may it be books, dinosaur toys, machine guns, and singing birds that sound like they're possessed. Waking up in the morning and having coffee with the room mate, discussing life. Screaming at and chasing the same room mate around the house. Waking up my roomie to vicious poops, and laughing about it for an hour straight. Talking to my flat mate through our bedroom walls. Drinking Palm Bays in the shower. Having the tackiest decorations in our house -- asian slave picture, babies as flowers picture, sexy Christmas apartment, etc. Heart to hearts in the stairwell. I'll miss how Mlou and I won't be common law anymore. HEARTBROKEN!!

Shit on the not-so-much-miss-list

Dying puppy above me with man yelling "no" every 5 minutes. Screaming baby from below. Drunk slut next door having angry sex and screaming at her child. Seeing a dead body on the front lawn. How our fridge died and sounded like a dog barking throughout the night. When I got locked out on the patio in the rain (don't ask me how that happened). Having to wake the room mate up one night because I had one too many wobbly pops, and couldn't unlock the door myself. I will NOT miss coming home to someone who thought it would be a good idea to smear poop along the hallway walls. How almost everybody living in this apartment building is sketchy. I can't wait to get out of the ghetto. How I never, and I mean ever had food in the house. How both Merry Lou and I didn't buy TP for 3 weeks. We went from using Dairy Queen napkins to wet naps.... I just shuddered.

I know there is so much I missed, but it's been a year and my memory isn't the same as it used to be. BUUUT, this is going to be the weirdest move I've had. I worked with Merry Lou since 2007, moved in with her in 2011. Went to Peru, came back and didn't work with her anymore. Now I won't be living with her. No work, no live. I'm a sad panda. At least I'll still get to berate her once a week while filming our barista videos.

OH, side note. I regretfully have to relocate Chairman Meow to a new home. It's been a long run with her, but the parents don't want her in their house. I'll miss giving her bum slaps and cuddles. Not at the same time, though. That's just creepy. She's going to be a farm cat, so she'll be able to run free, lose some weight, and catch mice and shred them apart like she used to the last time she was an outdoor cat. Cute.

Anyways, I'll catch you on the flip side!! But I'll leave you with this treat.

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PS- I ball so hard muthaeffas wanna find me.

The Updated Life of Tjames

Oh hello there. It's your friendly neighbourhood baristud!! Just thought I would stop by and give you bitch tits a little update. I miss coming to this blog, it reminds me far too much of Peru and how whenever I would be blogging it would be about how my balls were fondled, or about my disease collection. Such good memories... I neglect it far too much because I don't have stories like these anymore. Canada is boring I guess.

Well. Life is for sure different. Or should I say it will be different shortly. I'm still working at Starbucks, (lifer), and have been since August. 40 hours a week. I feel like a real adult. Except for the fact that when my shift is done I reek like I took a coffee shower, and have foam all over my body.. What? That's not what real adults look like after a shift at work? Awkward. Anyways, 40 hours a week. Yes. With time to play on the weekends, of course. Sometimes on week days. Whoops. ANYWAYS. Life will def be different shortly. I'm going back to school in January, taking 4 100 level classes because my university sucks and gives me shitty registration dates... Thanks UFV. So welcome me back to the student life of procrastination. Oh, and I'm also moving back home in February with my fam jam. Which will be weird since I've been on my own for the past year. It'll be good though. Three words: home cooked meals... TALK DIRTY!

So with these life changes I'll be working less, most likely partying more, and writing papers into the wee hours of the morning. Can't wait for the last one... But the one thing that I'm absolutely looking forward to is visiting my friend Rachel that I met in Peru!! This will be happening in Feb. and it can't come soon enough. I need a mini vaca. I need to get out of Abby. To visit the states. It'll be a nice refreshing trip with my bestie with testies to visit my Peruvian sister in SanFran. Shit will def get weird, and I can't wait! Can you say HYPHY?

On another totally unrelated topic, it's almost the new year. Where did this year go?! How did it slip by so fast? This is by far the best year that I lived through in my short 21 years of life. So many positive things have happened in my life. Such as finding some of the most amazing friends that I could have ever asked for. I can honestly say that every person in my life this year has changed it for the better. The ones in Canada, and especially the ones I met travelling in Peru. Love my besties!

PERU! I can't even leave this out of this post. It has, to this date, been the best 3 months of my life. I learned so much while living there, from being on my own in a foreign country, meeting over one hundred people from all over the world, and just diving into the culture. It taught me the best life lesson, to just go with the flow and live carefree. It brought out my inner hippy, and I love it. I miss it every day and all of the wonderful people I met there. I also greatly miss not showering for a week at a time... I smite you hygiene!!

What else can I rant about? Are you even reading anymore? Shut up, this is tjames' blog, of course you still are. WELL, I don't even know. I'm sad that this year will officially be over in a couple of weeks. But this means that I get to try and make this coming year even better than the last. I don't know how I'll top this, but I'll try my hardest, all the while updating you creeps!

Have a great Christmas + New Years, and have a drink for me... or 600..!!

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Listen to my finger. Take a break, breath, enjoy life, tell a friend you appreciate them, and then have a beer bong!!

Scooter Fail

Holla, holla, holla! So, I don't know how to jump into this post subtly, except to say I crashed my scooter.... Yes, you did read correctly; I was viciously thrown off of the Red Rocket at 100 km/hr, thrown into the windshield of a car, ricocheted into a ditch, and I can still say that I survived ! Okay, that was a lie, but wouldn't that make me so much cooler in life if it were true? No, in all honestly I decided last Thursday that it would be a beautiful idea to drive scooty while it was snowing, when CLEARLY I knew this was not alright. I was driving along a side road (the main roads were still fine), lost traction, fish-tailed and slid with scoot on its side. Do you want to know what the shitty part of this story? Well it's all shitty, but the shittier end? Three separate cars saw me fall down, and all three cars didn't even stop. RUDE AND UNCALLED FOR!!

So after the nearly lethal fall, I picked the bitch-tit up, dragged it to the side of the road, and decided it was a great time to have a smoke break. I think I muttered (screamed) a list of profanities during this relaxing break of mine. So the next part of this story includes me walking on the side of a road, in the snow, pushing a scooter, wearing a helmut, and having cars fly by me spewing dirty slush all over my body. But I don't like remembering that part.

I didn't live far from where I crashed, so walking it home wasn't that bad of an idea, until my travels took me to a hill. A hill where every time I tried to push scoot up I slid down. I threw my helmut off, took another little break, and decided to ditch her in an abandoned parking lot, residing in the humble parking lot of "Fas Gas". This was Thursday night... It's now Monday night and she's still resting in that same stall.

Long story long, I went back the next day to pick her up and every time I gave her gas, she sputtered out. Just like how my love has sputtered out when she decided to almost kill me. I'm heartbroken. And forced to travel on foot. I hate the snow.

Death Cab

Oh hi there. Aren't you going to welcome me back? No? I hate you. I'm here, get over it. Anyways, a couple of weeks ago a few friends and I ventured out to Vancouver to go see Death Cab For Cutie in concert. This has always been my life long dream since Seth from the O.C. basically made them famous. I love their music to death and was so excited to see them FINALLY in concert!

The tickets my friend ended up buying were on the floor (my first time) so that made me even more excited. We got there and ended up being right up against the fence. SO CLOSE TO THEM THAT I COULD SEE THE SWEAT BEADING ON THEIR FACES! Not really, but now you get the idea. But these floor tickets brought out a weird crowd.

For example:

1) Crazy drugged up girl beside me that looked like she was having a seizure when shaking her head.

2) Crazy drunk girl who screamed at me that we all suck because we weren't as sloppy as her.

3) The same crazy drunk girl who started to grind up on me... At a Death Cab concert.

4) That SAME drunk girl who forced me to high five her.

I was so nervous. But the concert made up for all of the crazies! The only thing that I would change about the concert is for them to have played "A Lack Of Colour". But other than that, all my hopes and dreams are now fulfilled!

P.S.-- I'm super nervous as to how you can check to see how people got linked to my blog. Because I checked them today and it said that I had one person search for "Tjames nudes".... WHY IS SOMEONE TRYING TO LOOK FOR MY NUDES? I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD ANY!!!

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I took some videos and pictures (NOT OF ME NAKED, CALM YOURSELVES) but since we were right at the front there was a bass speaker ruining everything. This is what I ended up getting.

5 (8) Awesome Baristas!

Hello, my dear readers. I've come back to you. From a far away land called work -- yes, I'm always working. Quite possibly with a little play as well. Soooo, I've come here to update you people on a little treat that I've been doing with my spare time. Recently my room mate and I, Merry, auditioned to get on a YouTube channel. This channel is totally related to Starbucks in all ways, hence the name "5 Awesome Baristas".

Let me give you the jist of it. Every Friday Mlou and I will be uploading a new video on a Starbucks related topic. We're usually good while filming in the beginning. We keep on topic for a little while. But then it turns into something else. There may be footage of us dancing. Maybe even a little pouring a pound of coffee beans over my head. I heard about Merry wearing a blanket as a turban as well? Weird, and yet so good.

I figured since that I'm an irregular poster on this blog that I should probably update you kittens on what's happening in my life. This is just one of the hobbies that I've obtained, so let me go ahead and show you what I'm speaking of!

The first video is our audition to actually get on the channel.

This one is our first video after we made it to the channel. Just an introduction.

This little guy is about Starbucks Shared Planet, and being recycle-wise.

So like I said above, there will be new videos every Friday. So subscribe to our YouTube channel and enjoy our shenanigans weekly!

http://www.youtube.com/user/fiveawesomebaristas

Canada Living

This is the longest amount of time that I haven't blogged for since I started this page up. I find that kind of weird. But it's due to the fact that I feel like there's nothing really to talk about. When travelling in Peru there were so many events that happened to me that I could bitch about, but being back at home not so much. I've been hit with the reality of life since being home, aka having a real job, paying bills (or should I say Peruvian debt), and showering. I hate showering. But really, it was a hard experience trying to get back into the grind of North American society, and it still feels like I'm struggling with that at times. Why aren't there parades in my city every other day? Where are the obese Peruvian women trying to sell me things? Where are the dogs that I have to run away from in fear from getting rabies? Why haven't I been sick in the past month? Where's Gaby to make my meals? Why don't I live in a house with 20 other people anymore?? So many questions. Oh how I miss you Peru!

So, readers that may be wondering what I've been up to since being home from South America, what has tjames been getting up to? I work 40 hours a week making bevies at Starbucks. I got a hair cut because my flow got too greasy from not showering. (I'm joking). I still drive my little red scoot, although she's screaming in pain every time I start her up. I'm back living in the ghetto. I ate 600 oreos today to remind myself of my diet in Peru. Chairman Meow is fat and still screams at me. I've been relatively healthy since being home, no sicknesses! I guess Canada doesn't want me dead. I went camping twice with a group of amazing friends, let me tell you, shit got weird most of the time with them haha. All in all, I've just been trying to get back to my groove of Canadian living.

I still think about the things I did and people I met during my travels a lot, and I miss them with all my greasy, lime green gringo pants wearing heart. I hope that my future travels will bring me back together with them at some point!

Cuando en el Peru!!

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On a side note, I have no idea where this blog is going to go now. I think I'll just switch it back to a couple of monthly vents for your viewing pleasure. So stay tuned.

Back At Home

I'm currently sitting in my bed, back home in Abbotsford, wearing my poncho. I'm officially back home. It didn't hit me until a half hour ago that I'm really home again. Today was my first full day back in reality, and it feels so surreal. Having a cell phone is disgustingly beautiful. How easy it is to get a hold of someone is a weird thing to get used to again. I also rode scoot for the first time today. It was like I was a 5 year old boy just learning how to ride a bike again. Pure bliss. Seeing all of my friends again; I don't know what to say when I first see them. I've had a constant smile on my face since I landed in Vancouver. Oh, I also got my job back at Starbucks, I'll be working at Bakerview by the border! But here are the things that I'm really, really going to miss about living in Cusco.

I'm going to miss having 3 meals prepared for me every day. Having my room cleaned for me. Taking taxis anywhere in the city that costed next to nothing. Sitting out on the patio with everyone having "dessert", aka a smoke. Screaming I love you in Spanish at Gabby and Priscila. Going to InkaTeam and never having to pay for drinks. Dancing on top of the bar at Mythology. Not getting home till 5 or 6 in the morning, and every time Rosemary would judge us. That wearing lime green pants and a beater was a normal thing. Watching True Blood for 7 hours straight. Not caring about hygiene, what is it anyways? (P.S.- I've showered 3 days in a row for people reading this I met in Peru. Isn't that just disgusting??!) I'm going to miss all of the amazing sights I saw, and the people I shared them with. The people I met. I am going to miss all of you SO much you have absolutely no idea. Spending 1 week to 3 months with everyone is something I'll always remember. Even the people I didn't get along with, I'll miss you too. I'm going to miss being forced to live with 20 people in a house, with so many different personalities, from all walks of life. Real World La Florida! I'm going to miss Jacob from Patas and his extreme awkwardness. Gremlin after dark. Only washing my clothes twice in two months. Raiding the fridge and cupboards, even though it was the first rule we were told not to do. MANZANA, UVA, PAPAYA, PLATANO, NARANJA, DURANZNO, MANGO MANGO MANGOOO, VAGINA!! All of the slang spanish that we came up with -- Lo sient, grace, tam, perf, etc. Screaming at the tourists, telling them how much I hated them. Crafternooning. Blackout. Planking everything. The oreo milkshakes from The Meeting Place. The Cure from Los Peros. How often we talked about our poops. When sriracha came into the picture!!! InkaTeam 3rd floor. San Blas. White chocolate macadamian nut cookies!!!! Gretels. Love affair cookies. Chicken for 5 soles. The Haucachina night. I'm going to miss when shit got weird. PachaFupa. I'm going to miss how everyone knew where to find me when Dirty Bit started to play. Getting hyphy to all the prime InkaTeam music! "Excuse me sir, but would you like a therapeutic massage?" Making guacamole at the San Pedro house. There's so much more..

What I'm not going to miss: being sick for 3 months.... I wish I could just forget about how horrible that was. How the water shut off at 1030-11pm everyday. How I didn't get used to the altitude my entire stay, I'll forever and always remember hate having to walk up 3 sets of stairs to get to the top bedroom. The cold. The fucking freezing cold. I thought I was moving to a tropical country. Oh I for sure was mistaken. I didn't appreciate you Cusco when you forced me to wear 3 tshirts, a poncho, sweat pants, shorts, alpaca socks, and a toque to bed every night. My bathroom shower. Why did I have to find out about the secret second floor bathroom 5 days before I left? WHY?! I'm not going to miss seeing dogs being raped. Gross. Having to say goodbye to so many people far too soon. Bus rides, bus rides, bus rides!!! Missing food from back home. Potatoes... Having to throw toilet paper in the trash can. Or not having any toilet paper in general. I'm not going to miss having to drink shower water in Augas Calientes because I couldn't afford bottled water. Def not going to miss when men would grab me and force me to go into The Lek. Your club sucked, I hate you. I won't miss Molino one bit!

I'm sorry for how disorganized this post is. But that was my life down there. I'LL MISS YOU CUSCO, CUSCO, CUSCOOOOOO!!